Suhaila's birth
My first pregnancy was a struggle. I had already suffered from a miscarriage once before and it had been a traumatic experience. I prayed for this pregnancy and hoped I wouldn’t suffer the same result. Woody and I were so excited and we'd always wanted a family and started trying as soon as we could.
7 years ago...
When I first found out we were expecting, I couldn't even contain it! I went out and bought a unisex outfit to break the news to Woody. I'd always envisioned my pregnancy as a beautiful experience, one filled with love, peace, and radiance. Little did I know that my first taste of motherhood would be so difficult.
My pregnancy went by slowly and it wasn't long until I discovered I was suffering from gestational diabetes. My mother noticed that every time I ate a meal with carbs, I would be lethargic and drowsy. I explained this to my OBGYN and they decide to test me early for gestational diabetes. The results were not ideal so it was advised that I adjust my diet to level out my blood sugar. Unfortunately, diet wasn’t enough to control my numbers. I had to control my diabetes with insulin throughout my pregnancy. To add icing to the cake, gestational diabetes caused me to gain even more weight, a total of about 60lbs during the pregnancy.
I had watched The Business of Being Born and wanted to have a home birth. After finding out I was high risk, those hopes vanished. This was my first pregnancy and I was scared not to be in the hospital considering I was high risk. I was also told I would need to be induced which was a fear of mine. I knew being on Pitocin would make contractions longer and harder.
As a first-time mother-to-be, I didn't know what to expect and I was nervous about all the complications that could happen. I had heard horror stories about women who weren't heard and whose opinions were pushed aside while in labor, how Pitocin often led to an epidural and subsequently leading to a c-section, and I was terrified I would find myself in these situations.
I hate hospitals. Hospitals aren't positive places for me. People go there when they're sick or injured and it didn't seem like a place for having a baby. Regardless of how I felt about it, I went in for my induction at 38 weeks with a positive attitude. When I arrived and got to my room, I changed into a hospital gown, the nurses put in my IV and set me up for fetal monitoring. It didn't matter I didn't have an epidural, I still needed continuous monitoring.
My cervix wasn't ripened and I wasn't effaced so they would need to ripen me beforehand. The nurse came in and gave me Misoprostol (also known as Cytotec). It's a medication given orally twice over several hours. I had heard horror stories about Cytotec leading to hemorrhage, but I had never heard of Misoprostol. So I looked it up only to find it's the same exact thing. I was upset that the nurses gave it to me without even explaining the risks! I had only been in the hospital a half hour!
I called the nurse in and explained that I would not be taking the drug again. They explained that it's “perfectly safe". I asked them if it was even FDA approved and they said yes, except I already knew it wasn't approved by the FDA for cervical ripening, and blatantly pointed the nurse to the FDA website as proof. She had nothing more to say and I told her I would try another method using a foley catheter. She didn't argue and left the room.
Within a half hour, I found myself already having to fight for the birth I wanted. It didn't get easier from that point on. I had to put my feet down and question the staff at every turn. I need to do things the way I felt was right (within reason) and there was little to no compromising. I had to stay strapped 99% of the time, I mostly stayed in my room to labor, and as labor progressed, they started Pitocin.
Pitocin was the beginning of the end for me. They started Pitocin and progressively upped the dosage each hour. I couldn't move much while laboring because they needed to monitor the baby and as I did move, the monitor wouldn't pick up the heartbeat because the baby was too low. I felt like I was battling myself at every point.
Eventually, the Pitocin was increased and the baby was in a bad position. The medication was causing contractions when the baby wasn't in the right position and I was in a lot of pain. I hadn't progressed past 6cm and begged them to lower the Pitocin. They told me they couldn't and tried to encourage me through the contractions.
Ultimately, I couldn't take the pain and asked for an epidural. I felt defeated but was too exhausted to fight. After receiving the epidural, I felt some but not complete relief. I slept uncomfortably for 3 hours as nurses came in and out of the room, poking, prodding, and checking me. I was required to hug a birthing ball to take pressure off the baby now that I couldn't move from the waist down. I also had to wear an oxygen mask. All the cables and straps made me feel trapped. I kept ripping the mask off and they kept putting it back on. I remember feeling angry at the people around me.
After 3 hours of “rest". I woke up to feeling a lot of pelvic pressure. I couldn't move or adjust myself much and kept telling the nurses I felt pressure. They checked me and I hadn't made much progress. They brushed it off and sent my mother and sister home to rest before the baby arrived. For the next half hour, I kept repeating how much pressure I felt. Finally, after persuading them it wasn't going away, they checked me again.
They were shocked and said the baby was coming. The staff yelled to call for the doctor and hurried to move me into position (you know, the typical laying on your back, legs in the air position). They quickly cleared a table of all the equipment and placed it beneath my legs for the doctor. I was scared and my whole body started shaking. I could feel pressure but didn't know when to push.
The doctor came in hurried to deliver the baby. The nurses and doctor told me when to push and literally within minutes, my darling baby girl had arrived. They immediately had Woody clamp the cord, took her away to clean her, and give her vitamin K shot and drops in her eyes (even though we didn't want them to).
Then they finally handed me my baby girl. I held her for the first time and fell in love. I was exhausted and was happy it was over. I was drugged and couldn't stop shaking from the adrenaline for the next couple of hours. They moved me into a room for the next few days and I was able to finally bond with my baby. I was happy to have help from the nurses during breastfeeding, but I didn't get much rest with the onslaught of people coming and going, which was magnified by the fact I hadn't had much rest during my induction.
The days that I spend being induced and laboring were some of the hardest of my life. I wanted to share this birth story in contrast to my second birth. It proves every birth is different and unique. I just so happened to have a terrible experience in the hospital, but that may not be the case for every woman. I just advocate awareness for your rights. You always have choices, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.